Nothing gets my Christmas motor goin' like wrapping presents :D It used to be I would hole myself up in some secluded corner of the house and wrap everyone's presents all at once in a huge wrap-a-thon that ended up leaving my work space looking like an elf had vomited holiday cheer all over it. And when I say everyone's presents, I don't just mean all of the presents I had bought for people, but also that my family had bought for each other. One time my madre even had me wrap my own presents after she had discovered the joys of online shopping and they all arrived in nondescript brown boxes.
Today, as I wrapped the few presents that were ready right in front of Little Liam, I got to thinking about Santa Claus and how Christmas is going to be from here on out. Silly as it seems, I felt crazy guilty when I bought Liam's present with him present (haha, everyone loves a good homonym), even though he is obviously too young to remember. He's too young not only to remember where I bought his present, but also to remember this First Christmas that we are all going to share together as a family. But, if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to hear it, did it make a sound? If we fudge a little on this Christmas, will it matter in the long run?
I say yes. The Joy of Christmas only exists if we fabricate it within our own hearts. Its not the fact that there is a tree in our house, or the assigned colors of red and green, or even the holiday culinary treats that make this season special, but rather the joy and tinglys that we associate with all of these things. We as individuals, as families, and as societies choose to make Christmas magical, and I think that all of us (if you're lucky) could think of one major person who has, throughout the years, been the champion of holiday joy in our homes since day one. That person who makes sure that the holiday roast is on the table, the presents are under the tree, and Santa got a nibble of his cookies.
Now that I have a kid, that torch has been passed to me, and I am just SUPER excited to be the man behind the curtain of Christmas lights and tinsel. That's not to say that my husband isn't into holiday cheer, he so is. His youthful excitement is one of the many reasons that I married him. But planning and plotting and general organization of events like holidays aren't really his strong suit. Besides, I'm The Mom and it's my prerogative. He gets to put up the Christmas lights in the freezing cold of November :) In any case, I think I've got a handle on making sure we check off our traditions each year (tamales anyone?).
The problem, then, is Santa. I have always been so excited to sneak a few presents under the tree that no one knew I bought and wrap them in different paper that the family doesn't know about. To tell you the truth, I believe in Santa Claus. Every time an uncle or grandparent is inspired to buy a kid the Red Ryder his (or her) parents have forbidden, that's Santa. When you pick an angel off of the Salvation Army angel tree and anonymously drop those presents into the box, that's Santa. Those stories that we have all heard since we were tiny children drive and inspire the feeling of goodwill towards men and selfless giving that really is the spirit of the holiday. The IDEA of Santa is completely integral to what makes Christmas Christmas. Even if you think he's just a jumped-up way to sell Coke ads. BUT, is there a centuries-old man with a workshop of elves and a reindeer farm chillin' at the North Pole? Maybe. Does he make it to every house that celebrates Christmas (and has money) in the short while that everyone is asleep on Christmas eve? Probably not. When you come down to it, the physical being of Santa Claus is a lie, an elaborate myth that has been put together in order to promote the spirit and cheer of the holidays.
So what do you do with a child who you want to teach the value of Honesty? That there is little to no difference between a lie and a "white lie". That the truth is absolute, and you cannot make something that happened go away by lying about it. Do you tell them from the beginning that there is no Santa and take away the magic? Do you try to explain to a one or two year old the complicated ethos behind Santa Claus and hope that he gets it? Or do you jump on the Sleigh with everyone else and trick your child into believing that a man dressed in red is going to break into your house through the chimney once a year, but it's okay.... we've left him cookies. I want my kids to believe in magic, and believe that they can create it in the world. And I certainly don't want them to be the serious little nay-sayers that Natalie Wood was in the beginning of "A Miracle on 34th Street". But what happens when that inevitable moment comes and they find out that all of the presents under their tree were bought by people they knew, not made by elves in the Great White North? I can see it going down two ways... Either some jack-ass little kid who has jack-ass older siblings is going to lord the information over them on the playground, and tease them for not being smart or mature enough to know that there isn't a Santa... or Mom and Dad are going to have to sit down and do "the talk" with him and watch the light go out in those big beautiful blue eyes as they stop hearing the sound of Jingle Bells.
I can't remember the moment I realized that there was no Santa Claus, although I'm pretty sure that it was my older brother who told me. But you know what? I do remember arguing with a little boy in my class that Santa really did exist, and that I believed in him, even though I knew better. That idea, that myth, had become so ingrained in my understanding of what Christmas was all about, that I think I knew even then that if we who know don't choose to believe anyways, he really will disappear. With that in mind, I think I'll use the myth to my advantage, and tell it to my children when they are too young to understand something so profound, and need a physical being to embody it. When they come to me with questions I will tell them what I believe, and why, and that you don't need to be duped by 9 reindeer carrying enough toys for millions in order to partake in the Magic of Christmas.
well said! :)
ReplyDeleteI will never forget the day that we had to "do the talk" with your brother. One of the worst days in my parenting life to actually watch that light in his eyes go out. But we knew we absolutely had to do it under the circumstances.
ReplyDeleteMy belief is that a parent isn't the one who is supposed to tell their child there is no Santa. The parent is the one who explains that Santa is a symbol of hope and good will towards man. He is a symbol of the magic we feel during the holidays and the epitome of giving to those who are less fortunate that ourselves.
So you see, Santa isn't a lie...he is an inspiration to us all.